Sometimes you have to just walk away…

I’ve been thinking a lot lately; which is really never good for me because thinking a lot equals racing thoughts that keep me up at night. Recently, my world shifted a little and I’m having difficulty navigating the shift. * ADHD side note- shift sounds a lot like a certain 4 letter word that means “poop”- take out the “f” it’s all the same shift*

I don’t want to speak about my shift explicitly, but let’s just say I’m adjusting. There are some decisions that I need to make or don’t need to make- but there’s a whole lot of “stuff” floating around. The draw back to this adjustment is frequent crying at random times in random places-what can I say-I have a tough time with change. The positive side is that I’m beginning to be able to get a better perspective, though it feels extremely drawn out. I’ve been hanging on to what hasn’t been serving me for a while now-and before you jump to conclusions-I’m not really talking about any one specific “thing”, but many things in many different facets of my life. I typically try really hard to fix whatever is broken and make “it” better. I want to work out my differences or problems, often analyzing the heck out of them. Funny thing is, I rarely look at what I need and if I’m getting fulfillment too- because generally speaking-pleasing others is fulfilling to me. Sometimes though, I come upon a situation where I just can’t see how to make it all work. Then BAM- something completely thought provoking occurs-usually brought on by some seemingly mundane event.

I was faced with a very challenging work out the other day. I walked in thinking I was going to nail it and would be able to go slow and steady. I started out strong, but then got light headed and dizzy. My heart rate was soaring through the roof, and I kept pushing through. I pushed and pushed and pushed, but my body wasn’t having it… and then I thought to myself, “sometimes you just have to walk away.” I did, I walked away. I walked away with tears in my eyes and a pain in my heart, not because I was giving up, but because I was giving in. I was giving in to my gut and listening to my body. Something I have a really tough time doing. The crying wasn’t really attached to the workout, but to the realization that sometimes I just have to surrender to reality.

“Sometimes you just have to walk away”, can apply to almost any challenge you face. I’m not advocating giving up, quitting, and not trying, I’m saying… when you’ve tried, and you’ve put all of your heart and all of your energy into something, but it’s just not giving you what you need-or it’s not good for you, or it’s just not working right…. sometimes you just have to walk away. Come back the next day, look at it from a different perspective, let it come to you, or try something different. Walking away can be very scary, but what is it that we are truly afraid of? Is it not getting the attention, not winning the award, looking like a “bad person”, not meeting the goal, failure, losing someone or something? What is it really? There’s a whole new world on the other side of fear and guilt, own your stuff and apologize if you’ve hurt people along the way.

After some truly heartfelt conversations with my friends about different circumstances in each of our lives, a good friend of mine told me, “you just gotta get in that dinghy and start paddling-don’t look back”. She often reminds me that I’m doing much better in my dinghy than when I was trying to tread water and make a raft out of materials not suited for floating the long haul.

So when stuff just gets too overwhelming or frustrating and you feel like you’re banging your head on a wall-let go of the rope you’ve been hanging onto-it’s likely that the fall isn’t that far. You might end up with some bumps and bruises, but nothing you can’t handle… you’ve spent your whole life preparing for each moment that you meet. So, dust yourself off, get up and walk away….