Called to Action

Ever in a situation where you feel like you need to do something? I always feel like I need to DO something. FIX something, HEAL someone, HELP someone, give them the rope and the manual on how to climb out of the hole. I want to help, not watch you suffer. I’m a doer not a watcher; I’m involved, not disassociated;  I’m the girl who’s on all the committees because I want to be in the mix and a part of the betterment. I bite off more than I can chew and I think I can create change! I’m a take the reins and give your horse a kick kinda girl… why wait, JUST GO!!!!!

Whoa There!!!! PULL UP!!!  I feel called to action… but I just need to PAUSE. Sit with it. Struggle, discomfort, and frustration are all a part of the recipe for growth. We even talk about it in education when kids are learning new concepts or learning to read-it’s in the struggle time when the “a-hah” moments click. Sure growth comes easily at times, but generally speaking we have to work at whatever it is we want in life. It’s not just going to come to us; I mean-yes the Hiltons and the Kardashians of the world may get hand outs, but they still have to work at maintaining that or at some point it’s all going to be gone. Some people are born with a talent, but it takes practice and nurturing to develop that talent into genius. My dad and I had a recent conversation about marriage and how people say, “marriage is hard work.” My dad says, “it shouldn’t be that way, I already have a job.” I say, “everything you do in life is work”, life takes nurturing and cultivating. It just does. Plants don’t grow without water and sun; muscles atrophy without use and blood supply; a research paper doesn’t just write itself, and love is no different. Sometimes, you have to sit back and welcome discomfort and struggle. You have to celebrate the failures because without all of that you wouldn’t grow and appreciate the wins.

My friend’s daughter was on a team that just kept losing. In the beginning there was hope and optimism in her voice, but as the season progressed doubt and defeat began to edge in. They won their first game last week after a number of losses. When I congratulated her on the win, the smile that washed over her face was that of pure joy and confidence, she beamed from ear to ear. I’m not sure she would’ve been so grateful and appreciative of the win if her team was a winning team and this was just one more win. Struggle, failure, and frustration humble us. See my “Fail Harder” post from a while back. They are lessons that teach us that no matter how hard we try we can’t always be in control, we can’t always win, we can’t always help; it teaches us that this universe is way bigger than we ever imagined and it’s ok to be in an uncomfortable place for a while-because usually, when you’re not forcing something to happen-is when it happens- just like that- life opens up and opportunities abound. Opportunities that we may not have ever imagined because we were so focused on fixing the problem and what wasn’t happening.

I’m a serious “take action addict”- I don’t like the feeling of discomfort and uncertainty- or not having control- but I keep needing to remind myself to take my own advice.

Next time you’re  in a place where you  feel like you’re losing control and life seems to be falling apart, pull up on the reins. Pause-let go of your plan and your need to be in control. Stop and immerse yourself in the discomfort (sometimes it’s really ugly), give yourself a “time out”, don’t offer the oars and the instruction manual too-give it some struggle time, look at who you are and what you really want or are trying to achieve from your actions. Is it control, is it a sense of peace, is it money, are you running away from your problems, is it communication… whatever it is- it can’t be forced or it will fight back fiercely. Change and growth can’t be forced, it requires stretching and flexibility-and sometimes some wait time for everything to align just right. Giving up control is scary-but in reality we are never truly in control of anything else but our own actions and reactions. So grab those reins and pull up a little-let yourself be present in the moment, sometimes no action is the perfect reaction-you might just be surprised at what gifts the universe brings you.